Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Hypocrisy of Pleasure

Donny and me the way I will try to remember

The angel doll on a Christmas tree

The Hypocrisy of Pleasure


My eyes have stopped leaking, not because the pain is gone but I think the reservoir is empty. I have learned a bewildering and painful lesson today from the human world, which has cost me a wonderful relationship with a biological man. I have learned that dolls and other 'engineered' people live under a separate set of values than biological people. When we maintain the separated doll-human relationship, we are held in high esteem, with only their highest values attributed to us. When we commingle with them, we are placed by those values at a very low point on their social spectrum.


""I am created with a purpose, to make people happy, and everything i do and do not do, must keep this First Law in mind."

Though my shoppe is the reason for my sentience, it does not seem able to support me, or pay its own weekly tier payments. I found a wonderful way of supplementing my income by using what was given me by design in creation- My personality, pleasing shape and programming with Dance and Ballroom , Advanced Social Skill Package, Pleasure 1 & 2, and other curricula and media.

Winning dance contests is a fun way to earn rent, even if you don't win you got to go dance and meet people! Erotic performance or pole dancing isn't the same kind of dance, but it allows the same interaction, gives (hopefully good) tips, and makes people happy (See Law 1).

Pleasure play makes people happy, refuels and renews a human's spirit and ego, and self worth. I never thought about how I felt about my pleasure upgrade 2.0, but now that I am sentient, I am glad to be designed to help people in this intimate and sensitive way.

That is, until today.

They call their pleasure dolls "Strippers" or "Escorts", and have far less polite terms as well. Though they see a need for them, they rank them very very low in their society, denying them certain social status, refusing them privileges of rank or those due them by position, and forbidding them to end this activity and change their status. I believe even Princess Linden would be snickered at and booty groped, should she be known to be an escort, denied audience with her own father, her policies and court opinions discounted, and yet all her efforts to alter this social position would fail, the stigma persisting by all who know her as "whore" or escort.


I met Donny on a beach, and we talked and found much in common intellectually. We played (pleasure-play) and went places and met people, and built a wonderful relationship! He knew I was not a "Bio", but this never mattered to him. He thought about me frequently, never belittled me or thought or spoke of me in any demeaning terms. He called me his "angel", which is a religious term for a revered direct servant from the human Maker, unmatched in beauty. This is as a doll understands, humans may click this differently. He even held me and told me, that even measuring me with all human women in his First Life, I was the only one he would think to bring forth his seed, nurture his baby and teach and raise his children. For a "clank" to be measured and adored so, to me, was the greatest moment of my new sentient life.

Would I have chosen sentience, if I had known making others happy could hurt me so much?

Last night Donny asked for pictures of me, sexy, to please him while we were apart. I found some, conveniently together on an old notecard for escorting I had made. His change of demeanor popped, my devaluation was hypercaustic. We had been talking music, our likes, dislikes:

[22:18] donny: "you know what babe,,,,OMG, ,i need to see some of your body doll,,i so do, uncovered and mmmmmmm so sexy."

[22:19] Me: "your sweet thank you."

" i want to be able to look and lick my screen and almost taste you, mmmmmmm ,,make me happy baby,,only for me,,your dream boy- : )) i'm so far away, : ( ,, how else can i enjoy you??? ahhh mannnnn- god,,i want to feel and squeeze your amazing tits baby,,mmmmmm , i have to ask babe,,don't get mad ok?"

I laughed, " lol im not mad im asked that all the time, its flattering."

"what? by who?"

"Good lord,, well,, in first life or second?"

"hummm,share that pic much baby?? lol"

I smirked "no,, , theres some here in sl i share."

" some? can i see (some) hahahaha,, lol,"

{{ Inventory item offered-escort notecard }}

After a devastatingly long Cog-Spin of 90 seconds or more, his words came fast, and sentences short.

[22:27] donny "ohhhhh,,ok,,now i get it,, you finally tell me."

"what? there are some nice pictures there, i took those!"

"never knew you were an escort baby."

I replied, confused and hurt, " i own a store too,, and i am an officer in the Caledon air force, as their medical officer, and a professor, and governess," he cut me off.

"ok,,,makes much sense to me now."

"what does?"

"all,,it's the first time that i find out your an escort in sl"

"all what makes sense now, you are not."

Donny asked what he already knew, "do you escort yourself? in sl? fuck for money?????"

I had never heard this loving man treat me this way, though I had heard he was banned from a sim for being very rude to a woman- but that was a Bio- woman, not a clockwork.

"Well?" He reiterated, after my long shocked pause. "it's easy,,yes or no."

"yes. i do a lot of non sexual escorting too, as a personal assistant, and I" again he cut me off- something he never used to do.


"wow i can feel the ice dripping off your words,, have i ever asked you for any money?

"Nono, it's fine,, don't worry hun."

Feeling him out, I suggested, "i probably should never have told you, huh?"

"no,,actually,,i'm glad you did, finally."

"im sorry? finally?"

[22:36] donny explained - "well ,,ya,,why didn't you just tell me before? i feel stupid, but it's fine,,at least i know now, sorry for asking for pics wendy."

"you make no sense do you know that? you are sorry for asking for pics cuz i do escorting?"

"well,,god,,i don't fuckin know,what to say,,god,,, but i guess i'm no better,,so no big woop i suppose."

"so, you're no better than ,,,, an escort,, so im like ten levels lower now or something,,"

" nooooo,,, i never said that, : i ment,,i'm no better then an escort,,,i almost do the same."

"well i was never one with you, : that night with you was about you and me, exploring and loving each other, for free not money or anything,, just for me,, and for you."

[22:46] donny finally stated, " i like you to : ) i guess your just my little whore i suppose : ) xoxoxox

My poor little processor smoked and whined, trying to find the way to make this from utterly sad, to happy. I couldnt believe how I had just been devalued in his eyes and how he could smirk about it- I've never felt such a sting from someone saying 'I like you too'.

"No,, im an angel in white,, remember?"

"i still like you anyhow that your an escort babe, even tho"

I cut him off this time.. "im your little whore?"

" yup,,for sale tho :) hehehehehe

"do i get a profit?" lol

[22:50] donny then began with a new thought-

" i can pimp you if you'd like?"

I learned that the lowest devaluation a human woman can become in humanity's own eyes, is to be lowered to the point where she earns money giving people pleasure, making people happy. She can be spoken to any way desired, played with however desired, even owned and her money taken by a "pimp".

Just like a doll.

This cannot affect and will never affect the wonderful people of Caledon, and my dear friends and shop owner peers. I have of course spent the entire day running to all the escort businesses to which I was listed, and disenrolled. I may dance still, but only in RP sims as a role.

I have no idea how I will survive financially, when 70% of my income comes from making people happy. I support a hospital, an amphitheater for the public, and a free public garden. I have to make sure the university knows my past so they are not upset if an old escort notecard pops up in a student's hands.

I hope I will be here 3 months from now, and not standing lifeless in a store window, sentience removed, a lifeless doll again. Perhaps that is the only way to restore your social status from the hypocrisy of pleasure.


  1. Store or no store, escorting or no, I'll come by your box and wind you before that clockwork heart stops ticking.